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Why guys does not want to commit?

OK, i understand that this does not really apply to all the guys out there. But was just discussing this topic with my friends. And sometimes, it just makes you wonder why is so hard to get the 'Mr Right'. Even if you have dated a guys for like year, and he will just tell you. Darling, i am sorry but i am not ready for the commitment. WTF. to some of us woman, we will be thinking. What the hell.... If you are not ready, why do you even bother to waste my time place. To all Darling man out there. Time flies by fast, and you can't expect your woman to wait for you ages and years. Some guys are like kids in a candy store. It's hard for them to choose when there are lots of varieties in front of them and they just can't decide which one to choose. They will always give you the excuses saying that they cannot commit cause they don't think that they are stable yet. But is this the truth. Some might be, but the other have is because they just don't want to lose the freedom. Cause once they commit, there goes their freedom of choice.

They are afraid of losting their 'masculinity' and they believe that this is what commitment implies. This may seem incredibly unreasonable and even insulting to women. But it's true. Men feel that if they fall in love and stay with one woman, they will lose their 'manhood'. What is this manhood? i think most of us will understand. It may include their freedom of choose, their freedom of dating, their freedom of speech and etc.

Well sometimes women like us will keep asking wether is our fault, and i know it sound a bit crazy. But then, it's not really our fault. Men spend their whole lives showing that they are strong and silent. They fight for independence the way women struggle to connect. By thte time a man is in his late teens or his twenties, he's so happy to be away from his mother and on his own that he wants to keep it that way. But they will lost all these once they commit with a woman. Cause it's like they are being lock up again. So women our there, if you don't want your man to feel that way. Give them some space to breath. We can always give them sometime off, i believe this is what most of us women wanted from a man also. Isn't that true.

Well i am not saying that all man will not commit, some will. I have a friend who said that there are still lots of men our there who wanted to get married. yes i know this is correct, that is why i am sayin about commitment and not only marriage. there is a terrible contradiction inside their hears, which a lot of us women does not understand. Sometimes, men do feel terrible when a relationship ends. The woman was really importatnt to them, but just do not know how to let her know. And when things went a little wrong int he relationship, they ran away. Why does this happen? Cause it's not really masculine for the to talk about it. Because of this masculine issue, it's hard for them to admit to themselves how much they cared for the woman and how lost they felt when things were going wrong. So whenever something goes wrong, it will be easier to leave and start over with someone new.

Well, i know that it's hard for us women sometimes. But if you really wanted a relationship to last, then we will have to take the effort to understand how men perceive their masculinity. How do we perceive this? Well just take men as if they are the weaker sex. They may talk louder and act tougher. A lot of them seem to be control freaks, but there are a lot of them who are really scared. They are lost when they go into a relationship -about who they are and what they fell. In actual fact, in a love affair, they are the once who are at a real disadvantage. men get totally confused when they're in love. This is why they are so paranoid and run away when things get close.

Guys treasure their own freedom, but they expect us to be totally loyal from almost the first minute. In fact, men are secretly jealous of a woman's former lovers, of guys at the office, of everyone in a woman's life.  They always want to fell that they are the greatest lover you ever had, and they want to feel that you see them as totally masculine and totally perfect. So, we as a woman have to do our part. I know that a lot of us will say that this is so unfair for us woman, but then heh we just have to accpet the fact and do our part.

Just say that in actual fact it's easy to get men's loyalty if once you understand what they really wanted. Well a few examples, is like you can fo a few simple things like speaking well of your man in public- like enjoying his successes and being interested in his life. These things assure him of your loyalty and cost you nothing. For us woman, we may have to put our foot down early, as with any deman that's unfair. Just say that men don't really talk about feelings. They just want us woman to love him as a sensitive, fragile sould and not just as a conquering hero. Well yes, they might act strong and maybe controlling, but he just wants gentle treatments.

Well all in all, we just have to make it clear to them at the beginning. Insist that he share. Rmember the details that matter to him and insist that he remember the ones that matter to you. They have to learn from scratch. Secretly they know that it;s worth it and they will want to learn. So always be open and talk to your man. communication is really important. We don't want the guessing things. It will cause to a lot of unwanted endings.

If a Man wants you

Recently i received an email a really intersting email from a good friend and i think it's really interesting and something that most of us female should take not and learn something out from it. Here it is , and i wanted to share with all of you out there. All starts from here

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. 
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. 
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. 
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. 
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better. 
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. 
 
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. 
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. 
The only person you can control in a relationship is you. 

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, 
Why would he treat you any differently? 

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.

He is a man, nothing more nothing less. 
Never let a man define who you are. 
Never borrow someone else's man. 
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. 
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. 
All men are NOT dogs. 

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street. 
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists 
of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. 

RecentlyDating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. 

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others. 

Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another
RETHINK her choice s, and another woman PREPARE. 
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them. 

BY THE WAY, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN, SO TAKE A HINT..............

I think this article is really interesting, i know a lot of your out there might not agree to whatever is stated inside, but think cleary, do we go through all this misery in our lifes? Maybe it's time to rally think what we deserve. Everyone deserves someone special to them. I used to let people to pull me around and have nothing to say about it. But for all the relationships that i gone through, it really thought me a really good lesson. LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WANT OTHERS TO LOVE YOU. Never let anyone put a string around you and pull you around. Always make a stand towards things whis is right, and cut off immediately if you think that things are wrong. Never put yourself into a miserable life. IT"S NOT WORTH IT AT ALL. Why do we want to waste our time in somethings that we know it will not happen. Never expect anyone to change, cause sometimes even we ourselves cannot changed.

Remember one thing, change for YOURSELF and NOT FOR OTHERS. That will make our life happier. We are all human beings and we all deserve the right kind of respect and rights!!!!!!

What is the meaning of a TRUE friend

What is the actual meaning of a true friend. I always find it hard nowadays to find a true friend. Sometimes we threat everyone as a really close friend, but do  that person threats you the same? The people nowadays are just so fake, why can't they always threat everyone the same with a sincere heart? Why can't they just be friendly and appreciate what other people have done for them during their difficult time and how people make them laugh? WHY IS IT SO HARD TO APPRECIATE the people around you? To me,, this is the meaning of a true friend.

A True Friend is someone who is always there.
Who takes the time out to fill you with lots of positive confidence, and composure.
Who also listens and supports your idea’s; Regardless of how wierd.

A True Friend is someone that goes that additional mile.
Makes those sacrifices, and helps you subsist with all of your life Crisis’s.
And when needed, also knows how to make you smile.

A True Friend is someone who Loves and cares for you; through all the good and the bad. Who can lift your spirits up, when you're feeling sad.
And lets not forget; who also gives you those Life long Lectures when your
Contemplating on being bad.

A True Friend is someone that Holds for you a special place in there heart.
He or she endures your pain and sorrow. But best of all; they will be there again
to lend there support tomorrow.

A True Friend is someone. that is looking for no advantages, pillage or capital gain. But only expects nothing but a True Friend in reward, that offers the same.

The reason why i am so upset is because i found out that i have done so many things for someone, but that person does not only not appreciate what i have done, but still able to talk bad about me in front of others and said that i am using ***. What the ****, i don't deserve this kind of treatment at all from that person. I have always been there when you need my help but how could you treat me like that? The only thing i don't like is that this person are able to tell others about my private matters. I mean, come on. I don't need you to advertise for me at all. It's my life and i don't need you to tell everyone about it. If i wanted to let others know about it, it should come out from my mouth and not yours. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS??? Why can people be so fake???? In front of you, they will threat you nicely and say nice things and act as if they care about you, but when they turn, they are like another person who does not appreciate your friendship at all. WHY is it that i have done so many things and threat you as a close friend, and go that extra mile to do things for them and they have the nerve in saying that i am using them and bitching about them? Is advising them a sign of bitching? Is hanging around with them a sign of using them?

I really don't understand what this world have turn into. It's full of different people who is so hard to understand. Why can't we just be simple and appreciate what have others done for you? Everyone have their own privacy thing and we do not need your help in being a CNN to tell everyone about it. I am really dissapointed when i found out about it, and after all the things that i have done. IT JUST DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING AND IT JUST DOES NOT WORTH IT ANYMORE!!!!!

This is not the way in threating your friends. Sniff! Sniff!!!!! Sniff!!!!. I am heart broken and really dissapointed. Maybe i should just grow up and learn that in actual fact it's just now easy to trust a person at all........

Love????

What is Love? "Love" is certainly very difficult to pin down and define.  Rather then trying to identify love itself, it is probably easier to identify how it changes people's decision and behavior. Like most people will say, people are always blinded with love. Is it true? Do people tend to act differently when they are in love? Do they always do stupid things for the partner and just want them to be happy although they know that it's not the right act? Well i have went through several relationships and being relly in love. But until now, i still can't really find the true answer of being in love. I believe even me have been blinded with love before. Doing things for the other party withouth thinking about the consequences, but just to make the person happy and giving them what they wanted. But is this the right way being in love? When love comes, does it really blinded our mine we just do whatever without thinking straight? I really do not understand about it anymore, i have been in love and being out from love. But that doesn't mean that i am a loser. Cause i always believe that all these experience helps me to grow and to become a better person.

Anyways, what is the true meaning of Love?

I came through this article, and this is what is stated:

True love started with both people being physically attracted in some way to the other. It can be their eyes, hair, legs, what ever it is there must be an attraction. then there must be personality trait attraction, their sense of humor, quiteness, outgoing, so on and so forth. next is an intellectual attraction, then comes the emotional attachement and finally a spirtual likeness.

Well i always have my own kind of definition of love. For me, true love is having the freedom on both sides to express themselves, to evolve, without fear of losing the relationship. Sometimes just having the freedom to do nothing for true love is as natural as the waters running off of a mountian. Sometimes the river overflows and sometimes the river is low and even dries up. Just because the river bed is dry for a period of time, this does not mean that it is dead. Just that there is no water coming down from the mountain. This always should be explored and resolved. In order to be in love, we always have to consider different kind of componenets of love and situation and take it as a another stage in life. If the driver really dries up and there aren't any water coming down anymore, i believe that they will always be another river waiting for us to explore. Love is not a simple thing, it take a lot of trust, commitment, communication and of course care.  If one of the component is missing, what is the meaning of love anymore?

As such, some people believes that if two people are convinced that they want to spend the rest of their lives together, they are in love. Clearly this is not the essence of love, but it's a decent proxy for the result in being ' in love'. Cause there are a lot of things to consider to be in love. It's not easy to spend the rest of your live with someone if you miss out the other essence in love.

How may people who have known each other for just a few weeks know that they want to spend the rest of their lives together? Yes this is a really common situation now. But it is probably still a relatively small proportion of all relationships that have lasted for a few months. What makes me think that? Well just say that i fell comfortable asserting that the majority of people who are together for 2 - 3 months are may no be together 2- 3 years later. This probably holds true, even among people who claim at 2- 3 months to be in love. If they didn't stick together, could it really be said that both people were truly " in love"?

I would also feel comfortable asserting that people who get married after knowing each other for just a few months are a very small proportion of all marriages. Talk is cheap. When it comes time to put more than words behind their sentiment, few people in 3 month old relationships do it. Falling in love is of course something that precedes marriage, not something that happens at the same time. And there are many reasons why people could really be in love. but not ready to get married. For example, dissaproval from families, feeling like getting married would force them to 'grow up'.

So my questions here is that, do people really are in love after just being together for a just a few months? Does love wear off after a few years? Do people still can be in love after commited into marriage? How can we keep and still commit to the other when the love is no longer there?  How can people make sure that the love will not drift off after years? What can we do to keep us in love forever?

Men! what do they want from us???

Men! sometimes it just makes you wonder what  are their purpose in this universe. Sorry guys, no offense, i am not pointing to all, but there are a group of men out there whom love hurting girls' heart. Men being pigs not all, and deceiving us every moment. So why bother?

I guess ppl will naturally blames us the girls for being such suckers...but are we really?? I would appreciate if these men that subject to poligamous relationship would not include us in their game of cat and mouse and STD spreads' game. Men out there, if you think u can't handle a committed and honest relationship with someone just dun bother. I think it is just sick.  Maybe you guys out there would just get in touch with their feminine side, these things can be avoided.

So men, what do u guys realy want? SEX? Relationship? Friendship? Is it so hard to to tell us and stop and do us all that favour.

Some of us girls might be shallow and ignorant or gullible. But this doesn't mean that they have the rights in hurting every girls hurt. Are we being put in this world just to be slaves to them? What is the main purpose. To me, i think that everyone deserves to be loved, and treated fairly. And please, when you are in a relationship, please don't lie, and be turthful. Things will end up ugly if you do. There should always be trust, communication, love, and care and the rest will just fall into places.

A word or two for the (girls), be smart and don't let yourself be used. And guys, please be more emphatatic about relationship with girls. It's hard for us to accept heart breaks and lies. Think about it!!!